Hi I am Random,
So one of the reasons I wanted to create a blog is to vent slightly about mental health stuff.
What I mean by this is I wanted to talk about stuff I can't find by googling.
It's weird.
How to explain.
This is a post about self harm.
Now for around three years give or take I have had self harm thoughts which I haven't acted upon. They started at the height of my generalised anxiety and depression, and having recovered from the generalised anxiety (and probably the depression) I can say the thoughts haven't gone away. I am actually more likely to harm now than three years ago.
And for the life of me the internet just doesn't seem to have the words to say to me.
For some reason when you google things about self harm the internet thinks you or someone you know has already started. Which three years ago in a state of depression meant I couldn't relate to the advice given.
Advice - all about stopping harming yourself after starting.
Me - I'm asking how to not start.
Now don't get me wrong, some of the advice out there on distractions can help a lot. However it doesn't address the issue I was facing which was prevention. And because none of the websites were saying how to stop before you begin my brain just tuned out to the advice they were giving. I felt isolated. I still feel people like me don't exist according to the internet.
Where is the advice on prevention of self harm?
What I needed to hear was - Hi the problem you are experiencing is you have no idea how to cope with your emotions at the moment. It may only be one emotion like sadness or guilt or it may be every emotion including happiness and elation. But you currently don't know how to express them or cope with them.
Here are some tips on ways you can cope with your emotions right this second (gives example...)
Here are some strategies for helping you build up your resilience to not coping with things (gives examples...)
Here are strategies for being able to control emotions better (gives examples...)
But self harm is only a temporary solution because it will mean you have to repeat the harm when you have these intense feelings again, and that just isn't sustainable.
Self harm may also accompany mental health issues. You do need to seek help for the mental health issues but ultimately if you don't address the way you are coping with intense feelings these thoughts may not go away even if your health gets better.
That's really something I would like to tell myself three years ago. It's what I need to hear today, but no one is telling me the examples.
I have never met anyone who has admitted having these types of feelings and they haven't acted on them. But for me there has to be a window when you think about it and look for help. Surely it is better to equip people with the right tools to take care of their emotional well being and identify healthy coping mechanisms so less people have to think that harm is something they have to resort to. Surely you'd have thought prevention would be something you'd want teachers or people in positions of trust to be aware of so they can help people before an issue starts. Why isn't there one website out there when I google for help saying Hey advice for those struggling with their emotions.
Surely you want people to feel they can talk about these things without someone saying all the reasons why they shouldn't do something, but rather someone saying look I think these options may help get these emotions out in a healthier way.
I know self harm isn't all about people struggling with emotions. It can be about struggling with pain, struggling to feel in control and one hundred and one reasons I couldn't even imagine.But you know maybe lets talk about the causes more so the conversations can change. Conversations change lives.
Random picture (if it shows) is random exercise equipment by the beach in Malaga Spain, because of random reasons.
Thanks talking helps,
Random
So one of the reasons I wanted to create a blog is to vent slightly about mental health stuff.
What I mean by this is I wanted to talk about stuff I can't find by googling.
It's weird.
How to explain.
This is a post about self harm.
Now for around three years give or take I have had self harm thoughts which I haven't acted upon. They started at the height of my generalised anxiety and depression, and having recovered from the generalised anxiety (and probably the depression) I can say the thoughts haven't gone away. I am actually more likely to harm now than three years ago.
And for the life of me the internet just doesn't seem to have the words to say to me.
For some reason when you google things about self harm the internet thinks you or someone you know has already started. Which three years ago in a state of depression meant I couldn't relate to the advice given.
Advice - all about stopping harming yourself after starting.
Me - I'm asking how to not start.
Now don't get me wrong, some of the advice out there on distractions can help a lot. However it doesn't address the issue I was facing which was prevention. And because none of the websites were saying how to stop before you begin my brain just tuned out to the advice they were giving. I felt isolated. I still feel people like me don't exist according to the internet.
Where is the advice on prevention of self harm?
What I needed to hear was - Hi the problem you are experiencing is you have no idea how to cope with your emotions at the moment. It may only be one emotion like sadness or guilt or it may be every emotion including happiness and elation. But you currently don't know how to express them or cope with them.
Here are some tips on ways you can cope with your emotions right this second (gives example...)
Here are some strategies for helping you build up your resilience to not coping with things (gives examples...)
Here are strategies for being able to control emotions better (gives examples...)
But self harm is only a temporary solution because it will mean you have to repeat the harm when you have these intense feelings again, and that just isn't sustainable.
Self harm may also accompany mental health issues. You do need to seek help for the mental health issues but ultimately if you don't address the way you are coping with intense feelings these thoughts may not go away even if your health gets better.
That's really something I would like to tell myself three years ago. It's what I need to hear today, but no one is telling me the examples.
I have never met anyone who has admitted having these types of feelings and they haven't acted on them. But for me there has to be a window when you think about it and look for help. Surely it is better to equip people with the right tools to take care of their emotional well being and identify healthy coping mechanisms so less people have to think that harm is something they have to resort to. Surely you'd have thought prevention would be something you'd want teachers or people in positions of trust to be aware of so they can help people before an issue starts. Why isn't there one website out there when I google for help saying Hey advice for those struggling with their emotions.
Surely you want people to feel they can talk about these things without someone saying all the reasons why they shouldn't do something, but rather someone saying look I think these options may help get these emotions out in a healthier way.
I know self harm isn't all about people struggling with emotions. It can be about struggling with pain, struggling to feel in control and one hundred and one reasons I couldn't even imagine.But you know maybe lets talk about the causes more so the conversations can change. Conversations change lives.
Thanks talking helps,
Random
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